How to Start a Conversation With Your Crush

how to start a conversation with your crush for the first time

How to start a conversation with your crush?

We’ve all been at that stage in our life where we desperately want to start a conversation with our crush but are too scared to do it. We hope for our crush to make the first move, which in most cases never happens.

Sometimes you wish you could magically find the courage to go speak to your crush. It’s agonizingly painful to not be able to walk up to a stranger you like and strike up a conversation. The only thing holding you back is fear; fear of rejection from your crush. I understand you, most people dread starting conversations with strangers, let alone their crush. You’re not alone.

If you are reading this post, then it means you want to do something about your situation. You want to find a way to start a conversation with your crush. 

Well, you are in the right place. Today, we are going to delve into the techniques you can use in your life to start a conversation with your crush or anyone else you like. 

These techniques are surefire ways that have been proven to work for most people over and over again.

Everyone can learn these techniques to overcome their fear and become more confident; you’ll striking up interesting conversations with your crush in no time. The first step:

Take Action to Start a Conversation With Your Crush

This sounds like a no-brainer but the first thing you need to do to start a conversation with your crush is to walk up to crush and start the conversation, i.e take action. This is the first and most important step, but most people fail to take even this simple step. If you don’t walk up to your crush to say hi, there will never be a conversation.

Taking action employs two objectives. Number One: Taking the risk Number two: Assuming the burden.

Taking the risk involves taking the initiative to go speak to your crush without knowing what the outcome will be — whether you’ll be rejected or warmly received. You cannot hope that your crush will approach you; instead, even if you are shy, it is up to you to make the first move. As a trick, always remind yourself that there are more dire consequences in life than a rejection by your crush. We all fear rejection at some level.

You can start the conversation—yes, you! It’s not nearly as hard as you think. And the best part is that it puts you in charge of your destiny. Instead of waiting for your crush to talk to you, you take your chances and go speak to your crush instead.

Assuming the burden involves taking responsibility for the conversation — bringing up topics to talk about and asking the necessary questions. Some people just walk up to strangers, say hi and then expect the stranger to bring up topics for the conversation. This makes your conversation partner uncomfortable. You’ve got to assume the burden of making your conversation partner comfortable and at ease — bringing up topics to discuss and asking follow-up questions.

Good things don’t always come to those who wait. More often than not, good things come to those who take action and starting creating good things.

Start With Small Talk

So you’ve gathered up the courage to talk to your crush, what next?

Small talk. Always start with small talk. Small talk is the icebreaker that clears the way for more intimate conversations with your crush. In simpler terms, it lays the foundation for a stronger relationship.

You may be telling yourself, “Ugh small talk is not for me, I’m so bad at it”

Well, most of the people you see out there weren’t so good at small talk either. Let’s admit it, most people hate small talk. I mean, what do you discuss with a stranger you have nothing in common with?

You ask questions about the weather and whatever is on the news? And then you bang your head in frustration over how boring those conversations seem to be, vowing never to indulge in small talk ever again.

But if you want to start a conversation with your crush for the first time, you will have to learn how to master small talk. Like most skills, small talk is a conversational skill that anyone can learn and master with practice.

The first step is to let go of the idea that you are somehow supposed to know how to converse with your crush from the get-go. It’s simply not true. You’re not taught how to do it, nor is there some biological mechanism that instinctively takes over when you find yourself in a conversational situation with your crush.

Small talk is an art that needs to be practiced and perfected over time.

Now let’s take a look at a list of icebreaker questions you can use to start a conversation with your crush. If you’re afraid you won’t remember them, write them down, put them in your pocket, and refer to them right before you go up to speak with your crush. You’ll never use them all, just pick the ones that are appropriate in your particular setting. And be ready to reciprocate, since your crush will likely return whatever questions you pose.


  • If you could replay any moment in your life, what would it be?
  • What one thing would you really like to own? Why?
  • What was it like in the town where you grew up?
  • What would you like to come back as in your next life?
  • What do you think is the perfect age? Why?
  • What is a typical day like for you?
  • Of all the places you’ve lived, tell me about the one you like the best.
  • What’s your favorite holiday? What do you enjoy about it?
  • What are some of your family traditions that you particularly enjoy?
  • Tell me about the first car/phone/gadget you ever bought.
  • Who were your idols as a kid? Have they changed?
  • Describe a memorable teacher you had.
  • Tell me about a movie/book you’ve seen or read more than once.
  • What’s your favorite restaurant? Why?
  • Tell me why you were named __. What is the origin of your last name?
  • Tell me about a place you’ve visited that you hope never to return to.
  • What’s the best surprise you’ve ever received?
  • What’s the neatest surprise you’ve ever planned and pulled off for someone else?
  • Who is the most famous person you’ve met?
  • What’s the most memorable meal you’ve eaten?
  • What’s the most unforgettable coincidence you’ve experienced or heard about?
  • What’s your favorite thing to do alone?
  • Tell me something most people would never guess about you.
  • What would you do if you won a million dollars?
  • If the world was ending, who or which people would you wish to be around you? Why?

The Power Of a Compliment

Another powerful technique you can use to start a conversation with your crush for the first time is to compliment them.

Compliments are powerful when used the right way; it makes your crush feel good and also have positive feelings towards you. To make sure the compliment works as intended, it must be genuine. If it’s not, that’s just flattery, which has a way of backfiring.

So take your time to study the good points of your crush and then compliment them on it. You’ll be surprised at how well that will work for you.

For example, if you notice your crush is wearing an exquisite piece of accessory like a watch or bracelet, you could compliment them on it and then go on to have a pleasant conversation. You can then use a couple of the icebreakers above to keep the conversation interesting.

Use Names

“…the average person is more interested in his or her own name than in all the other names on earth put together. Remember that name and call it easily, and you have paid a subtle and very effective compliment. But forget it or misspell it – and you have placed yourself at a sharp disadvantage. “

Dale Carnegie

This shows how important names are, and how you can use it to your advantage. When you take the time to learn another person’s name, you are expressing a sincere interest in that individual that will be warmly received.

Make the effort to learn your crush’s name beforehand and make sure to mention their name a few times in conversation; it pays a subtle compliment to them.

That said, it won’t be advisable to start a conversation without learning your crush’s name. Using people’s names shows that you are interested in them and makes them feel special; wouldn’t you want your crush to feel special?

Prepare To Succeed

I cannot stress enough the importance of preparation. Preparation in any facet of life is a key to success.

Preparation will give you the confidence you need to make good conversation with your crush without getting flustered or too intimidated.

Plan exactly what you will say when you walk up to crush, don’t just wing it. Plan the questions you will ask, and have topics at the back of your mind. Put in more effort than it would seem, making the conversation seem effortless and natural.

Don’t deceive yourself that things will just happen on their own, make them happen.

Practice is a very important aspect of preparation. You can only get good at starting conversations only if you practice.

The more you practice, the better you become. You can start practicing by talking to one stranger once a week. It will help you get comfortable with starting conversations and when you are finally ready, you can start a conversation with your crush for the first time much more easily.

Remember, nothing grows in the comfort zone. Do something today that causes you discomfort.

Walk up to crush, introduce yourself, smile and make eye contact. You got this.

Here’s an excerpt from the book, The Fine Art of Small Talk by Debra Fine.

” Like most things that are unfamiliar, starting a conversation appears harder than it actually is. If you still feel uncertain, listen to this true story.

“A national news show put a hidden microphone on a gentleman and set him loose at a party. His mission was to start as many conversations with women as possible using the ridiculous icebreaker Hi. What’s your sign? Here we are in a new millennium, and he was using that infamous 1970s line! And it worked! He walked up to a woman, smiled, and spoke his line. She responded by saying, Taurus. What’s yours?

“He answered with, Libra. Do you know much about astrology? They went on to have a very interesting conversation. The moral of the story is that it’s the effort that counts. What matters is taking the plunge and starting the conversation. This gentleman was successful because he showed an interest in what the other person had to say, and she was open to it. Showing genuine interest is flattering and essential to conversing.


Thanks for reading this blog post and I hope you now have a fair idea of  how to start a conversation with your crush. If you found it helpful, kindly share it with your friends and family. 



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