Hey there, my name is Elvis and I’m a 22-year-old.
Today I’d like to share with you some personal life lessons that I have learned over the years.
The best education is the education that you get from life itself. These lessons I’m about to share with you have helped me grow as a person and live a much happier life.
I hope they can do the same for you.
The Eleven Life Lessons Learned
1. You Don’t Find Love, It Finds You
This sounds poetic but there’s a lot of truth in these lines; love comes our way when we least expect it.
The first time I fell in love, it was so unexpected that I did not realize how much I was in love until I lost it. The pain of losing that person I loved hurt me so much that I did not think I’d find love again.
Love once again found me at a time when I was not even looking, and it was beautiful for me; it still is.
So if you haven’t found love yet, don’t despair; love always comes around but at different times for different people.
2. Before You Judge, Observe First
I have been judging people all my life.
I judge people by their appearance, by their speech, by their mannerisms, and by so many other things.
Judging is kind of a subconscious action; a sort of involuntary thing we do, if you ask me.
Sometimes I try to deny it but the truth is I judge everyone I meet, albeit subconsciously.
Judging is something we cannot avoid as humans, so why don’t we use it to our own benefit instead of letting it blind us?
It took me years to realize the power of observation; that by delaying my judgment for just a short while and observing first, I could actually discern the truth.
Let me put it this way: don’t judge or at least try not to pay attention to your first thought about someone till you have actually observed the person for a duration of time; then you can make informed judgments about the person.
It applies to every situation in life. Things are not always as they seem and to discern the truth we must observe.
Let us observe everything and everyone – including ourselves.
We always look beyond ourselves and judge others when we are just as imperfect and at fault.
If you want to grow as an individual you must learn to observe and discern the truth without the shortsightedness that comes with unconscious judging.
So next time, before you judge a situation or someone, just take time to observe and you will be able to discern the truth without being blinded.
3. Own Your Imperfections
Everyone is imperfect and that’s a fact of life.
Yet still, people go to such great lengths to project an image of perfection.
Let me set you free by telling you the truth: everyone is struggling to keep it all together; we are all pretending to be fine, but we are not.
Forget what you see on social media, nobody has life totally figured out (not even the highly successful guy who seems to be living his best life on social media).
Admitting that you’re not perfect will set you free and start you on a journey to becoming a better version of yourself.
Try it right now, say to yourself that you’re not perfect, that you make mistakes, that you’re afraid sometimes, that you have flaws you’re ashamed of, etc. Say anything that comes to your mind right now. Do it, I can wait.
Seriously, do it, I’m waiting
See how liberating that feels?
You’ve just taken a huge burden off your shoulders: you do not have to be perfect; it’s alright to fail sometimes, but remember to get right back up.
4. It’s Important to Read, Learn and Grow
I cannot stress enough how important this lesson is. It’s very simple: to grow, you must learn; to learn, you must read.
And it’s not reading any kind of book, but reading self-development books.
Books that teach you how to live a successful and happy life.
I discovered self-development books at a stage in my life when I was lost and desperate.
Self-development books helped me understand myself and pick up habits that were invaluable to me in real life.
Yeah, I know, so many of you complain of not finding time to read and that when you actually get to it, reading is so boring and monotonous.
The answer I have to that is this: if you are actually reading this then it means you’re perfectly capable of reading a self-development book, albeit 258 pages longer than this article, lol.
All you need is a surefire strategy to boost you: if you’re just starting out you should read in small chunks, 10 pages a day; 5 pages in the morning, and the rest in the evening.
That is how I started and gradually I increased it to 20 pages a day and then 30 pages a day. Now I read for about an hour every day.
And I can say this with all conviction that I have been 100% happier and richer in life ever since I started reading self-development books.
I occasionally read fictional books, too, for entertainment. You can create your own strategy for reading or you can adopt mine, but reading in small chunks is the best way to kickstart your reading journey.
5. The Only Way to Happiness is Gratitude
Well yeah, I used the adjective ‘only’ because without gratitude you can never be happy no matter how rich or famous or pretty you are.
Gratitude is the art of being satisfied with what you have and to continue being thankful for it.
If you’re grateful you’re happy, if you’re happy then you should be grateful.
Gratitude helps you focus on all the good things in your life instead of focusing on the little bad things.
Gratitude makes for a happier life, as the people around you will feel appreciated and loved.
Most of the time, we take things for granted, so I’d recommend that you start a gratitude diary; each day write 5 things that you’re most grateful for.
6. There is God Whether You Believe It or Not
There is a supernatural power that governs this world; a spiritual aspect of this world that is just as important as the physical realm.
I don’t want to sound all high-spirited and religious, but from my own experience, I know and believe in this supernatural power.
Some call it God, others Providence, others Fate or Destiny, but whatever they call it, it’s the same supernatural presence that governs us all.
And the great news about this is, no matter who you are or where you’re from, you can tap into and communicate with this supernatural power.
I’d recommend you read books that go into details about how we can access our spiritual nature and manifest our best selves.
7. Write Down Your Goals
Anything important is worth putting on paper.
There’s some magic about writing down your goals; it takes your goals from mere abstract ideas to real concrete ones that you can see and work on.
Writing down your goals also confers the feeling of commitment; it means you’re committed to your goals enough to put them down on paper.
Reading and going over your goals regularly will keep your goals at the back of your mind; you will begin to realize yourself making decisions that will bring you a step closer to your goals every day.
8. Fear of Failure Can be a Constant Menace
As a writer and blogger, you cannot imagine how many times I think to myself that I’m going to fail.
It’s hard to keep at bay self-deprecating thoughts like, “Nobody’s going to like my writing,” “People will think my blog is wack and unhelpful,” “I’m not writing anything important,” “What if what I’m writing is not good enough or doesn’t make sense enough?”
These kinds of thoughts can keep me from writing anything days at a time. It’s this fear of failure that can keep you from doing anything worthwhile.
To beat this fear, I ask myself,” What’s the worst that can happen? I won’t die from writing the worst piece in the world, and I won’t die if I fail”
So I write and write and I keep writing no matter what. No fear of failure is going to keep me from writing.
And if I fail? So what, I’ll learn from my mistakes and try again.
One other trick is to ignore your own self deprecating thoughts, if there is something that you want to do, just do it.
And then learn from the feedback. Don’t let failure stop you from not trying at all.
Remember; you won’t die if you fail, you will only learn what doesn’t work. Then you can try again.
There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure. – Paulo Coelho
9. If Anything Can Go Wrong, It Will
I don’t want to sound all negative and whatnot but if you’re doing something worthwhile in this life then you’re bound to come across obstacles in your path.
I can’t tell you how many times things have gone wrong as I started my blog; from my MacBook’s charger malfunctioning ( y’all know how expensive a MacBook charger is?) to my mac’s keyboard completely going haywire (the damned thing just refused to type anything at all).
I’ve had my fair share of obstacles that have threatened to derail my efforts.
I’ve had to be resilient, even in the face of impossible situations.
And I’ve had to solve so many problems than I can count.
So now I’m used to it; I no longer cringe at the thought of something going wrong. I know that whatever it is, I will be ready and up to the task.
You should have the same mindset and prepare to have things not always go your way.
Sure I am that this day we are masters of our fate, that the task which has been set before us is not above our strength; that its pangs and toils are not beyond my endurance. As long as we have faith in our own cause and an unconquerable will to win, victory will not be denied us. – Winston Churchill
10. Follow Your Heart For That Is Where You Shall Find Your Treasure
Chase your dreams and never give up on them.
I’m not asking you to give up your steady job or your schooling and risk it all for your dream.
Instead, I’m asking you not to give up on your dreams. Sure, you can work your 9 to 5 job, but when you close from work, you have all that free time from when you get home to 9am the next day to pursue anything you want.
And that is where a lot of people go wrong; they don’t have any side hustles or businesses they do outside of work.
Their whole life comprises of working or schooling and nothing else.
But if you really want to achieve and live the life of your dreams, then you’d have to make some sacrifices.
Don’t spend all your time working and then relaxing after work, i.e, watching movies, and mindlessly scrolling through social media.
Do something worthwhile with your time, like starting a side business, or starting a blog, or working on something that you’re passionate about.
Remember that wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure. – Paulo Coelho
11. Concentrate on Yourself
Mercilessly guard your time and energy. Every moment wasted on the affairs of others reduces your power.
This is the most important lesson of all: learn to concentrate on yourself.
Concentrate on your own goals and your own journey.
There are so many things and people that will fight for your attention during the day, but you’ve got to ask yourself, “What’s really important?”
“Talking with friends for hours on the phone about some trivial issues or using the same time to work on your goals?”
“Scrolling mindlessly through Instagram or using that time to read a self-help book?”
You get the idea.
I’m not asking to cut off all your friends or to quit social media.
I’m asking you to concentrate solely on yourself and your goals for the most part of the day and to have fun the other part of the day.
For example, between 9am and 4pm during the weekdays, I avoid most calls and social media, to concentrate on working on myself and my goals.
I’m only allowed to use social media or watch movies or have fun with friends after I’m done with my work for the day at 4pm.
This way, I’m not sacrificing my social or work life, but balancing both adeptly.
Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people. – Eleanor Roosevelt
[ Read Also How to Trick Your Brain to Like Doing Hard Things ]
And there you go, all the lessons I’ve learned from life so far. I hope you’ve learned something from this post.
If you have, kindly share this post with friends and family.
P.S The ultimate goal in this life is to be happy, so do what you gotta do to be happy. Do You, darling. And don’t be afraid to be your truest self.